Relationships? Which Brain is Talking?
As still after all those books and guru's who proclaimed to have the answer ...
-
Why do we still fall for the bad boy or girl, why do we want to rescue them?
-
Why is it hard to speak out and share our emotions or needs ?
-
Why is it sometimes so hard to be vulnerable?
-
And why do people say the things they do?
You could wonder what is new in this book and what is that cutting-edge science that is needed to address this question?
Who do you think is in charge inside you, and is directing your emotions, your habits, or your cravings?
The old science would tell you the amygdala in your head, or your thoughts or what ever kind of nonsense.
What they don't tell you is that you have an actual brain in your Heart and Gut and that they run your show, they are your so called subconscious.
Why don't they tell you that?
Otherwise their business model with falls apart and they have to admit that they have been telling you balderdash all the time.
What you are about to discover in this book is the true missing link to human understanding and why people act and talk the way they do and what is the key to having healthy, loving and long-lasting relationships.
It is called the 3 Brains - Head, Heart and Gut - Brains theory!
Relationships? Which Brain is talking? The Ultimate guide to Happy, Healthy & Successful relationships, is built around crucial new insights into the science of human thinking and feeling.
So, whether you want to create better bonds with the people around you or simply want to live a more fulfilled and happy life, this enlightening read is for you.
Why is it essential for every one who is having relationships - personal or professional - to read this book?
It answers the question: "How to have happy, healthy, and successful relationships?”
After millions of years of evolution, thousands of self help and relationships book one would think that we would have figured out how to understand, get along with, and connect with our family, colleagues, or find the right partner.
Despite being on this earth for more than 50,000 years and all those books and guru's ….
-
Why do we still fall for the bad boy or girl?
-
Why do we want to rescue them?
-
Why is it hard to share our emotions?
-
Why is it sometimes so hard to be vulnerable?
-
Why do we not dare to speak out what we feel or think?
-
Why can that gut-wrenching or passionate feeling in our heart override our logical mind?
-
What is the thing we all have been missing to do, to really answer the question: Who is in charge inside us?
This book provides the answer why people act and talk the way they do, as well delivering the key to having healthy, loving, and long-lasting relationships.
It is called the Three Brains - Head, Heart, and Gut - Brains Intelligence theory.
It maybe sounds strange on the first moment but your 3 Brains have different responsibilities in taking care of you, and to make it even worse they do not speak the same language.
You could think how is it possible that our biology is creating this internal conflict?
Evolution and biology does not makes mistakes, so what is the reason of these opposite responsibilities and more important: how can we navigate this multiple personality disorder inside us and have happy and successful relationships?
Bottom line: When we don't listen to our 3 Brains, they stay reflexively loyal to the most dominant Brain, which can cause us frustration, disappointment, failure, and destructive or failed relationships.
This book will dissect this ground-breaking finding in detail to help you work on your relationships from the inside out.
-
It will guide you why and how and how your 3 Brains - Head, Heart and Gut - are the ultimate solution to every healthy relationship,
-
It will provide information on identifying your default 3 Brains programming, and what that means for your relationships,
-
Give you that essential information what it means to have a Head, Heart or Gut Brain Partner and if they are right for you,
-
How to deal with the strengths and weaknesses of each Brain,
-
How to raise your children to become more happy independent adults with the 3 Brains,
-
Practical and highly powerful techniques for dealing and communicating with a Head, Heart, or Gut Brain situation or partner,
-
And so much more!
So, whether you want to create better bonds with the people around you or simply want to live a more fulfilled and happy life, this enlightening read is for you.
The beauty is we can educate our 3 Brains, they are not set in stone. My promise: Happy Healthy Relationships are possible
Christoffel Sneijders
Book reviews
PS What did an executive coach and manager who proof-read the book had to share about it?
This book has become the platform for a myriad of self-learnings and self-discoveries for me.
Like any good book or paper that introduces a new theory, “Relationships? Which Brain is talking?” sent my brain into overdrive as I connected all the information I was receiving to my own life experiences.
There were so many “ah huh” moments throughout this book for me.
This new theory of how each of our brains can hold memories, information, and support our decision making throughout our life experiences is a catalyst for more deeply understanding much of the common dialogue we hear.
For example “my gut is telling me”, “is your heart really in it?”, or my personal favourite Indonesia saying “Kepala bisa panas, tapi hati harus dingin” which translates to “the head can be heated but the hearts should cool”, this means anything can be resolved with cool heart and open mind.
These types of approaches to understanding ourselves and the drivers behind what we think, say, and do have been intertwined in the fabrics of our society already. However, my personal experience so far is that is usually stops with just the saying and the concept.
This book has allowed me to start to think more deeply about these three areas within me and how I can utilise this theory to connect more with myself.
One of the exercises in the book particularly stands out to me.
The exercise invites the person to speak their name to their head, heart and gut, all the while focussing deeply on anything that comes up via sensation, memory or thought etc.
During this exercise it became clear that there is a massive disconnect between my gut and my head & heart brains. Although to some degree I knew this already but had previously only been able to describe it as “something deep feels off but I cannot translate it into words or concepts, it is just a deeper sense, and that is where the problems lie the most.”
This exercise allowed me to more directly speak and listen to my gut brain, separating it from my heart and my head in this conversation, even just for a moment, to connect and understand that this is the area I need to work on and get to connect to better.
The three brain theory allows people to understand and connect to a more specific area and focus in on where things are really happening for them.
This communication with oneself is vital and a lot of people are already aware of this, however understanding the three brains will allow people to communicate with more intention and get more out of the moments spent trying to deeply understand oneself.
Utilising the three brain theory when approaching communication with other people will also support and facilitate more healthy connections.
Understanding, really deeply, where other people are at (heart brain), knowing if they are in defence or self-protection (gut brain), knowing if they are regurgitating things they have been taught by society or understanding (head brain, gut brain) can make navigating relationships a much simpler task.
As noted in the three brain theory “there is no point trying to communicate to a gut brain with a gut brain.”
Having basic concepts like this will help save a lot of time and energy for people in their daily life.
If you can read and understand the basis of people’s communication and what they are requesting for or thanking for at the core of their message, then you will be able to make better decisions about your responses.
“Should I just leave this conversation now and let things simmer down for a bit, or can I change my tone and words to create safety and a trusting environment for this person who is in full gut brain mode.”
These two main areas of learning from the book are what have grabbed my intrigue the most and what I hope to better understand and learn throughout this is that I want the ability to read the three brains of others and myself to become second nature.
