Before I start to get into details, I would like you to know that I really enjoyed reading the book. It is interesting to read, easy to understand with a lot of examples and I also liked the way you structured the book.
First explaining the three brains, then going into how that might impact your relationships in later live, understanding yourself, your partner and later children.
The science part in the end helps people who are interested to find proof, but you don’t need to read it to understand the concept.
With the three-brain theory, it is so much easier to detangle thoughts and feelings and to become aware of which part of the brain is communicating. It makes a big difference in understanding where issues come from.
The logical head brain is what everyone knows. The emotional heart brain, helping us to connect with people, family and community. The selfish gut brain is making sure we survive.
Before it was a bit like a big knotted up ball of unconscious mind.
Having separate brains, each responsible for different feelings and emotions, makes so much more sense. It helped me to understand why I do or don’t do certain things and why people around me speak or act the way they do.
My children are right into Star Wars at the moment and I watched Episode 3 with them yesterday.
It was so interesting how different characters represented different brains (3PO: Head, Jedi Knights: mostly heart, Sith: mostly gut).
It is also interesting to see how Anakin Skywalker’s gut brain is taking over after experiencing fear, pain, and the temptation of power. How comes that we are surrounded by Head, Gut and Heart brain people but Western science started only in 1991 to discover that the heart works as a brain?
An interesting part in the book is section 5, how the three brains work for young people, being a mother and also working with children who struggle at school.
I liked the way you described around what time which brain starts kicking in. Maybe generalizing it a bit, as kids do develop differently, but it makes a lot of sense. It’s also very important to have that in mind for therapy sessions, to find out why and when did the issue become an issue. Which brain was developed or not at the time something traumatic happened.
It explains why logic doesn’t always work. It is more likely that the seeds of feeling not loved or unsafe start in early childhood when your dependence on parents or carers is the greatest and you think they are right, whatever they say or do.
How nice would it be if everyone’s gut and heart brain could fully and healthily develop?
An interesting point was the advice to never try to communicate from your gut brain with a teenager’s gut brain. Makes me laugh when I think about arguments that have been coming up with my older children.
The different ways to start discussions are important to look at, not just for conversation with teenagers, but also friends and colleges.
As divorces are so common, it’s great to have the three brain’s in mind, to see why communication sometimes doesn’t seem to work. There is potential for a whole book. I think a lot of couples could do well to get a bit more understanding of the situation and the impact on themselves and their children.
I hope your book is spreading fast into all layers of society, a lot of problem could be approached differently if people (politicians, couples, families, managers…) understood the 3 brain theory
I am grateful and happy to read this, this is what I dreamed of when I wrote the book that parents have insight how to connect better with their kids.
If you like to read the book too and get inspired what it can do for you:
"How Men and Women Fit". You can find it at Amazon : https://amzn.to/2kpENnz
IBooks Apple : https://apple.co/2k5aYs2
Enjoy and love to read your stories.
Christoffel
Professor organisation and behavioural leadership at IE Business School.Clinical Hypnotherapist/psychotherapist and Executive Coach.
#parenting #relationships #3brains #parents #selfdevelopment #education #mother #father #3brainstheory #decisionmaking #counseling #coaching #hypnotherapy
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